the unexpected journey: another unexpected turn

The week began with much uncertainty. I needed to write over $10,000 in contracts within the remaining four days of the month. There was part of me that wanted to be excited and say, “How are you going to do this one, Lord?” But then there was another part of me that said, “I have been here before and you have not shown up.” I talked freely with the Lord expressing my desire to believe he would do it. I let him know that my heart—which he knows anyway—did not want to doubt or be critical, but that I knew the potential for such ugliness was present. I continued to speak out loud the words of God that would build faith in my heart. Each day the faithfulness of the Father was present. By the last day of the month I only needed $1,900 to reach the target. While driving back from my last appointment that evening, I was able to tally my figures; $4,790. My Father had come through. I thanked him, even though I was concerned that my heart was not overjoyed with gratitude that He had honored his word in my behalf. I prayed until I felt that gentle presence of the Holy Spirit sweep over my heart. Little did I know that another storm was brewing at home. The emotional toll of the journey was creating a strain in my family life. The relationship with my wife had reached a rupture point. Even though the news was welcomed, the result of the news would not be seen for several weeks. The money for food was simply not there. This only served as a tipping point in our relationship. It meant trusting God to feed a family of five for a week or using the credit card to get enough groceries to get by. The combination of stress and anxiety made the decision painfully easy—use the credit card. It almost seems silly saying that given the fact that God fed over one million people daily for forty years; but it is the sad reality of where we as a family are in this journey. It takes faith—the belief and assurance that God is who he says he is and will do what he says he will do. The beauty of the godhead is that he meets you where you are. You may have faith for one thing and not another—he will meet you there. The important thing is that you determine not to stay there, but grow in that area that is lacking. This is what happened with the congregation of Israel in the wilderness. They never grew, they only complained; and it eventually cost them their lives. So the journey continues as it takes another unexpected turn. The bond my wife and I have is strong, but the reality of our circumstance is very real. The stress and strain we are currently experiencing only serves to remind me that our walk and relationship with the godhead is as personal as it is individual. There is a passage of scripture in the Old Testament that asks the question, “How can two walk together unless they agree?” There could be a very in-depth lesson in that by itself, but suffice it to say, they cannot. Thus we agree to communicate and to agree on the things we can agree on.