The first week of this month did not go any better than the close of the last month. It has been most challenging. Everything I have given my life to believe in, follow as well as preach is being tried. The only thing I can say with utter assurance is that there is NO giving up on God. I can say this because my relationship with the godhead—shaken as it may be—is still intact. Even though I have no understanding of what or why, I know that my Father is on my side. I know that he is for me and not against me. I know that no matter what it “looks” like, he has everything under His control. And then, no sooner do I say this than it happens! I found out that I am in need of $500 just to be broke! I have less than $100 to buy groceries for a family of five—for two weeks! I have to buy gas on the credit card in order to get to and from work this week. Why am I telling you this? I am letting you know what I am facing so you understand the severity of the situation so you will understand the faithfulness of the godhead when he shows himself alive in the matter. Of course it isn’t easy. My emotions want to run circles around my spirit being. The stress is so high that sleep isn’t restful and physical ailments are a constant presence. Boy it sounds horrible—and it is from my point of view. However there is a verse of scripture that tells me that his ways and thoughts are not my ways and thoughts. It states that his ways and thoughts are far higher than mine. I must say that I am glad to hear that because mine are pretty stinky at the moment. There is another portion of scripture that tells me that my God has thoughts of hope and a future for me. I am glad to hear that because at the moment I do not see any hope or any future in this. Then there is this other scripture that says that my Father supplies all of the needs I have according to the riches he has in glory. It states that he supplies these needs through—or because of –Jesus Christ my Lord. This means that I cannot loose for winning. It means that I cannot go under for going over. It also means that I cannot be the tail for being the head. How will it happen? I have not a clue other than by the grace of my God. When will it happen? Sooner than later I hope—but according to his will, plan and purpose for me. Perhaps my telling my story of this journey will help someone in his or her journey. Perhaps it will encourage someone to carry on rather than give up. Perhaps it will even offer some hope for someone enables him or her to stay the course in his or her challenges in life. All I know is that this isn’t some experiment designed to test human endurance or the limits of human emotions. It is the reality of life in my world. Do I give up on God, throw in the towel and strike out on my own? Or, do I still my run away emotions by remembering what the Word of God says about my God and me? I am choosing the latter. I am choosing to rest in the experiences where He has delivered me from tight places before. I am choosing to trust His word that is true and righteous. Sound crazy? Perhaps it is and you can be the first to tell me so—if he doesn’t show up! On the other hand, I will quickly give him praise when he does. In the meantime, I will offer him praise—even through gritted teeth and forced in spite of emotions. Why would I do this? I do it because another verse of scripture tells me that even though there is no crop in field, no cattle in the pasture and no fruit on the trees, I will—my choice, my decision—rejoice—to take joy again—in the Lord. The journey continues!