the unexpected journey: the journey continues through 2015 and beyond

Today our country celebrates Mothers, a tradition that is thousand’s of years old. From the Greeks to the Romans to the Americans, honoring mom is a time honored tradition that annually takes place around the world. It is estimated that well over 100 million Mother’s Day cards will be sold in America this year. That is a lot of love being shared. As a traditional pastor I delivered somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty Mother’s Day messages. I believe that I covered the subject of Mother from every possible angle you can imagine. That being said, I have come to understand a new reality about motherhood that is worth a review. I have come to understand that many times motherhood means lost love. Let me explain. As this precious new life begins to consume a woman’s life, she finds herself caring less and less about the things that she once thought so important. Things like the latest hair fashion, the newest wardrobe or the next “must see” movie. As a result a love loss occurrs, but not to worry, it will found down the road. Unfortunately a far more important love loss begins to creep into the picture. This wonderful man, this adorable new father soon finds himself taking a backseat. At first it is understandable; after all Mother and child need that important bonding time. Let me pause to say this isn’t a bad thing, nor is it an indictment on mom. In many cases it is a reality. When you add to the mix the demands and rigor’s of a dual income household, it can become overwhelming. Once love is lost it can be very challenging to find it again—at least with the man you call your husband. This is sad. It should not be this way; it doesn’t have to be this way. Perhaps some thoughts from a sentimental old man who has been on the journey for a while may offer some hope. This is where our journey of the past few years can provide some powerful understanding. It is the apostle Paul—though never married—who compares marriage to a relationship with Christ; the deeper the Christ relationship, the deeper the marital relation. The opposite is also true; the shallower the relationship with Christ, the shallower the relationship with your spouse. This is true for both parties. This means that if neither partner has a relationship with Christ then lost love will almost certainly give way to separate lives—an often-avoidable tragedy. If the husband has a deep relationship with Christ and the wife does not, the wife will have a serious challenge finding the lost love. Of course the same is true when the roles are reversed. A Christ-centered relationship becomes a great contributor. This is developed like any relationship, day by day. It begins with a willingness that will grow to a desire—if allowed to grow. That desire will become a longing—which takes time to develop. The natural outflow if this relationship will be seen in the relationship with your spouse. As crazy as it may sound, it is true. I believe you will be amazed at how your marriage will turn around once you are willing to put this into practice. When I regularly counseled couples, I found three things that almost always crept into the conversation. Sex, money and communication—or I should say the lack thereof. Communication becomes a huge player in restoring lost love. The moment you feel that you have to keep secrets from your spouse, you are heading down a road to lost love. Not wanting to hurt them almost always leads to majorly hurting them. Open up, talk, hurt, laugh, cry; it will help. Happy Mother’s day. I trust it is an awesome time. I hope this will help some.