The third issue to spend some time on is that of spousal relationships—or perhaps a better way to state it is a rift in relationship. One of the things that I most appreciated about our marriage was the fact that we were able to talk about anything—easy things, hard things, and fun things, things of concern. However somehow through the years those conversations gave way to silent thoughts and silent walks. No matter how is starts the outcome will always be the same—dissention. Sadly I have seen this pattern destroy marriage after marriage. Given the fact that the Bible says that my job as husband is to love my wife as Christ loved the church, it falls on me to take a corrective course of action—a topic that can take page after page of instruction to explain. In many instances the husband has abandoned his post—as it were—leaving the wife the task of taking action. The wife is to be commended, but according to the biblical model it is the husband that should be stepping up to the plate. That being said corrective action must be taken in order to return the marriage to its rightful place of mutual love, honor and respect. Communication is a key component in this journey. Hanging on the wall at the office is a plague with this saying. “The easiest way to love anything is to realize that it may one day be gone.” For me this means taking an introspective look back to find, (using a line from the late Robin Williams movie Hook) your “happy place” with your spouse. Once you find it, realize that one day it will be gone. Once you find that place use it as a step in your journey to share it with your mate. Allow the conversation to go on until it produces tension; then stop. I am saying this because it is a necessary step to restoration. I am saying this because it is often easier said than done. I am saying this because it is the conversation that my wife and I recently had. In fact part of the reason this post is late is because I had to come to the place to begin this very journey with my wife—my soul mate. It is the Old Testament prophet Joel that the Lord uses to speak about God being a God of restoration. Indeed He does restore, but the first step must be taken in order for any restoration to take place. He will do the part that only He can do, but we must do our part, which is to begin the journey. I have talked to my wife about dating her, a difficult task given our situation. It is also difficult because for me—and most male’s—because touching is an important part of the relationship. However while dating, I controlled my desire to touch out of respect for my then girlfriend. It is more difficult for my “now” wife, but a necessary step in the process to once again show her honor and respect. This is to be done with consented moderation, but the purpose is to restore things in our relationship that have been damaged. I could speak volumes about this subject but will not because of time constraints. What is important is the possible help this may offer someone reading this post. It does not matter if it is a wife who is taking the initial step or a husband who is wants to improve his relationship with his wife. It is a journey. You cannot expect it to be short jaunt. Plan on a marathon. If there isn’t any spontaneity in your marriage, agree to set a time to meet and talk. Take a walk; sit by the pool, or a pond or on the beach. It is all right if it is awkward, just do not allow it be heated. Determine to stop before that happens. The harder issues will find their place once you are able to enjoy being around each other again. My wife and I have started our journey. I believe you can make yours as well.